Friday, July 3, 2009

Not the happiest me...

I don't want to do this anymore. I don't wanna put up with it or him. I wish I could walk away.

I had a good day at work today and then we had a fun movie night with my coworkers. It was nice and fun and relaxing.

Then I called my husband on my way home... and my night is ruined. All that happiness I felt is gone. Between him telling me that he's always right and his sarcastic "Oh hail you, savior of everything..." and his rudeness and me finally hanging up on him I have to wonder why. I don't even know why we fight. It's like he just looks for reasons to cause issues. Why? Why am I still here putting up with this? Because I love him? Sometimes I wonder. I know I don't like him. How could I? He puts me down on a regular basis. I get no validation or support from him.

I'm moving to another state to be with him in a matter of weeks. Two weeks to be exact. I'm leaving behind all that I know to live with someone that is rude, disrespectful & doesn't show me love. It doesn't make sense. I must be the stupidest woman alive.

I just want normal... someone that will love me and let me love them back. Is that too much to ask? Will I ever get that with my husband? Maybe...


  1. You sound like me. This is every day of my life. It got so bad I wanted to kill myself and then I just snapped out of it. My mother in law said his dad was the same way so she left him. Now, I am dealing with it. I don't think a psych med exists to make daily caustic behavior bearable. I want one day to be happy. Just one day without emotional torture.

  2. I feel you. This is us. Everyday.